The Pitfalls of Manifesting

Ask, believe, receive: the three-step process of manifesting your dreams into reality. Manifesting first took the culture by storm in 2006 with the release of the book and documentary called The Secret. Its author, Rhonda Byrne, claimed that positive thinking cured her cancer. All it took was clear visualization, steadfast belief, and readiness to accept what she asked for. The book became a New York Times bestseller endorsed by Oprah and celebrities in droves. The practice resurged during the pandemic when everyday occurrences like seeing friends or dining out were suddenly out of our control. When taking charge in life was limited, people turned to manifesting, and it hasn’t let up since.

Today, social media is filled with manifestation testimonials, pleas, and memes. It is so prolific that it has seeped into the everyday, becoming a catch-all remedy for dissatisfaction: Want a promotion? Manifest it! Looking for love? Manifest it! Those promoting it make bold claims about its power. “I manifested my mom’s surgery going well.” “I manifested getting my dream apartment.” I’ve even heard someone say they manifested their team making it to the Super Bowl. The ubiquity of manifesting made me wonder–why have we scrapped proven goal-setting methods with what’s akin to birthday wishes and vision boarding?

And yet, I ask myself— what’s wrong with positive visualization? After all, several scientifically backed goal-setting methods include envisioning our desires. Gabriele Oettingen’s WOOP method, for example, starts with identifying your wish and visualizing the outcomes of achieving it. But the final steps reveal that envisioning isn’t enough. Pinpointing obstacles and creating an actionable plan are equally crucial. Other frameworks like SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound) and SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats) reinforce this. What’s more, studies show that idealized fantasizing about the future can undermine the motivation needed to achieve goals. Manifesting stagnates goal-setters, trapping them in a cycle fueled by the pseudo-scientific “law of attraction” —the notion that your thoughts alone shape your reality.

I realized the power of this idea firsthand over lunch with a friend on a spring afternoon. As we sat at a sidewalk café, my friend put down her menu and told me, “This is the year I’m getting a new job— I’m manifesting it.” I encouraged her and began brainstorming networking strategies and contingency plans. She briefly joined in before stopping herself, adding, “Let’s not go there. I don’t want to jinx it.” This stunned me into a silent head nod.

On my walk home, it hit me: my friend reasoned that if positive thinking is powerful enough to summon the good, then negative thinking must be equally powerful at conjuring the bad. I realized that believing in jinxing is the shadowy flip side of believing in manifesting. In her mind, even considering the possibility of failure was enough to sabotage her success— cursing her like a spell.

The occult themes run deep, down to the root meanings of the words. Manifest comes from the Latin manifestus, meaning “to make appear.” Jinx originates from the genus name of the wryneck, an old-world Eurasian bird. When threatened, the wryneck writhes its head in serpentine, fitful movements to ward off predators. Early twentieth-century witches incorporated these birds into their rituals, associating them with misfortune. Over time, the wryneck’s scientific name, Jynx torquilla, gave rise to the term “jinxing”, which originally referred to casting hexes on others. Today, we have turned this practice inward, fearing that our thoughts are powerful enough to curse ourselves.

In contrast, the mindfulness movement (which also regained traction in the early 2000s and continues today) offers a different perspective. Scientists and meditation teachers like Jon Kabat-Zinn encourage observing thoughts without becoming entangled in them. In Wherever You Go, There You Are, he writes, "The challenge is not to rid yourself of your thoughts, but to stop being so caught up in them." This approach exposes a potential pitfall of manifesting: when we believe our thoughts alone shape our fate, we place them at the center of control -exactly where they shouldn’t be.[1] Empowering our thoughts to this degree can turn every failure into a personal shortcoming, leading us to fault ourselves for not being optimistic enough, believing hard enough, or being “ready” to receive what we desire. This breeds self-blame and censorial self-talk (“Don’t think negatively! Stay positive!”).

It’s understandable why many people, like my friend, are drawn to manifesting— it keeps them in the more comfortable stages of goal-setting. After all, acknowledging obstacles and our own limitations often amounts to confronting our fears. But when we avoid fear, doubt, or even practical contingency planning, we not only stall progress toward our goals but also miss an opportunity for deeper self-understanding. In friendships, telling someone to manifest dismisses the shared human experience of feeling stuck, dissatisfied, or yearning for change. It denies both friends the solace of knowing they’re not alone in having felt that. This missed connection may be the biggest jinx of all. Remarkably, when our fears are met with receptivity and resonance, we shift more easily from a pessimistic mindset into an optimistic one.

As Abraham Maslow wrote in Toward a Psychology of Being, humans have a deep need to understand their fears:

“[T]he unfamiliar, the mysterious, the unexpected are all apt to be threatening. One way of rendering them familiar, predictable, manageable, … unfrightening, and harmless, is to know them and to understand them. [This] may have not only a growing-forward function, but also an anxiety-reducing, protective function.”

Our relationships are our greatest allies in this pursuit.

Manifesting and its counterpart, jinxing, lurk within our culture. While manifesting likely arises as a coping mechanism for life’s uncertainties, it soothes that harsh reality with counter-productive fantasizing. When manifesting becomes a substitute for action— and when fear of jinxing stifles honest reflection and planning—it can do more harm than good. Living strictly by the law of attraction places excess weight on our thoughts, leading to unintended self-blame. A more balanced approach embraces fear and uncertainty, allowing us to authentically support ourselves and each other. Growth doesn’t come from wishing but from working out our fears, setbacks, and the uncomfortable reality of our limitations. In other words, real change isn’t about “asking, believing, and receiving”—it’s about acting, reckoning, and receiving support. The most effective goal-setters don’t see obstacles as cosmic curses but as inevitable parts of the path forward. Let’s shift away from “manifest that shit” to “address that shit!”.

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[1] In doing so, we undermine the sound wisdom of the serenity prayer by attempting to take control over the uncontrollable and forgo taking actionable steps toward change where it’s possible.